Diego.Galeano

El Hipocondríaco Un hipocondríaco va al médico y le pregunta: - Doctor, mi mujer me traicionó hace una semana y aún no me han salido los cuernos. ¿Será falta de calcio? ---------------------------- Vasectomía Un hombre va a ver al urólogo y le dice que quiere hacerse una vasectomía. El doctor le dice que es una decisión muy grande, y que si lo había comentado con su esposa e hijos, y el señor le contesta que sí, que votaron 17 a 2. ----------------------------- El parte médico Una vez en el hospital, un señor esperaba que saliera el doctor para saber como estaba su esposa. Al rato, salió y le dijo que estaba muy grave la señora, y que le iba a tener que dar de comer en la boca porque no podía mover las manos, le tendría que llevar al baño, le tendría que cambiar de ropa, bañarla, etc. El marido se puso a llorar y el doctor agregó: - ¡Estaba jodiendo hombre, ya se murió! ------------------------------ La Plaquita En el consultorio, el paciente le muestra a su médico los resultados de s

I dialed a number and got the following recording: 'I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes.' ~~~~~ Aspire to inspire before you expire. ~~~~~ My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine. ~~~~~ Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~~~~~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering And take without forgetting. ~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way Around, you're not going anywhere. ~~~~~ God made man before woman so as to give him time to think Of an answer for her first question. ~~~~~ I was always taught to respect my elders, But it keeps getting harder to find one. ~~~~~ Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Quote DB

My new chevy came with an alarm that has the 1, 2 and 3 buttons to enter a 5 digit code and a star button to confirm all actions. The manual is very simple and the advanced funtions are only available trough the chevy service dealer. If someone has the real manual to this alarm I'd be very thankful if you could leave a comment to this post telling me where I can get it or download it. (Chevy Aveo, Gran Vitara, Corsa)

Mi nuevo chevy tiene una alarma que tiene los botones 1, 2 y 3 que sirven para introducir un codigo de 5 digitos y un boton con una estrella para confirmar las acciones. El manual es realmente reducido y las funciones avanzadas solo las realiza el concesionario. (Chevy Aveo, Gran Vitara, Corsa) Yo ya consegui el manual. Si lo necesita, solo deje un comentario y se lo envío. Al menos 35 personas de Colombia, Ecuador y Venezuela lo han solicitado y ya lo tienen. Las FARC y Chavez tratan de crear enemistad entre nuestros pueblos pero no ha logrado que nos dejemos de sentir Hermanos Lationoamericanos..

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl". The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation" Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you mayas well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, JoeyPagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. Youcannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behaveyourself." Joey walks back to his pe