Diego.Galeano

El Hipocondríaco Un hipocondríaco va al médico y le pregunta: - Doctor, mi mujer me traicionó hace una semana y aún no me han salido los cuernos. ¿Será falta de calcio? ---------------------------- Vasectomía Un hombre va a ver al urólogo y le dice que quiere hacerse una vasectomía. El doctor le dice que es una decisión muy grande, y que si lo había comentado con su esposa e hijos, y el señor le contesta que sí, que votaron 17 a 2. ----------------------------- El parte médico Una vez en el hospital, un señor esperaba que saliera el doctor para saber como estaba su esposa. Al rato, salió y le dijo que estaba muy grave la señora, y que le iba a tener que dar de comer en la boca porque no podía mover las manos, le tendría que llevar al baño, le tendría que cambiar de ropa, bañarla, etc. El marido se puso a llorar y el doctor agregó: - ¡Estaba jodiendo hombre, ya se murió! ------------------------------ La Plaquita En el consultorio, el paciente le muestra a su médico los resultados de s...

I dialed a number and got the following recording: 'I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes.' ~~~~~ Aspire to inspire before you expire. ~~~~~ My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine. ~~~~~ Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~~~~~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering And take without forgetting. ~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way Around, you're not going anywhere. ~~~~~ God made man before woman so as to give him time to think Of an answer for her first question. ~~~~~ I was always taught to respect my elders, But it keeps getting harder to find one. ~~~~~ Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Quote DB

My new chevy came with an alarm that has the 1, 2 and 3 buttons to enter a 5 digit code and a star button to confirm all actions. The manual is very simple and the advanced funtions are only available trough the chevy service dealer. If someone has the real manual to this alarm I'd be very thankful if you could leave a comment to this post telling me where I can get it or download it. (Chevy Aveo, Gran Vitara, Corsa)

Mi nuevo chevy tiene una alarma que tiene los botones 1, 2 y 3 que sirven para introducir un codigo de 5 digitos y un boton con una estrella para confirmar las acciones. El manual es realmente reducido y las funciones avanzadas solo las realiza el concesionario. (Chevy Aveo, Gran Vitara, Corsa) Yo ya consegui el manual. Si lo necesita, solo deje un comentario y se lo envío. Al menos 35 personas de Colombia, Ecuador y Venezuela lo han solicitado y ya lo tienen. Las FARC y Chavez tratan de crear enemistad entre nuestros pueblos pero no ha logrado que nos dejemos de sentir Hermanos Lationoamericanos..

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl". The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation" Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you mayas well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, JoeyPagano, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. Youcannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behaveyourself." Joey walks back to his pe...

Remove "Click here to enable Instant Search" : jcarle published the following tip on the linked forum: If you're like me and you hate desktop search applications, you've installed Office 2007 and you keep getting nagged in Outlook to install Windows Desktop Search with an annoying 'Click here to enable Instant Search' tooltip, turning it off is easy. In Outlook 2007, go to Tools -> Options -> Other -> Advanced Options and remove the check for 'Show prompts to enable Instant Search'." Thanks jcarle, I was also tired of that instant search nagg. I really don't hate desktop search applications, is just that i like google desktop instead even if it still doesn't work fine with outlook (I'm complaining about Google desktop 5.5).

Managing Windows XP Programs from the Command Line: Taskkill and Tskill : "Managing Windows XP Programs: Tskill and Taskkill" Sometimes it is desirable to end a program or a process from the command line. The process may be hung or not responding or it may be desirable to have a script for ending it. shut down hung or frozen programs. taskkill /f /fi "status eq not responding" Close down programs using more than 40 MB of memory but not Windows Explorer taskkill /f /fi "imagename ne explorer.exe" /fi "memusage gt 40000" to force close down several programs at once. taskkill /f /im notepad.exe /im mspaint.exe The complete site is a great source of command line tips.

Tips Fixes & FAQs How do I open System Restore? How do I Start the System Restore from the command prompt? How do I access System Restore from Safe Mode? How do I use the Event Viewer to search for System Restore log’s? How do I reinstall System Restore? Updated! 5/27/07 How do I create an automatic restore point using Task Scheduler? Added! 9/8/06 How do I test System Restore? How do I disable the Indexing Service? Can I use System Restore to uninstall applications? Can I use System Restore to reinstall deleted or uninstalled applications? Can I permanently save a restore point for later use? Can I delete individual restore points from the system volume information folder? Can I use System Restore to remove virus or malware infection? Should I purge all my restore point before removing virus & malware infection? Should I let System Restore monitor my external drive? What should I do before running System Restore? What should I do after restoring my system to an earlier date? W...

Icon in URL Example Page : Este es el codigo para que en la barra de direccion del explorador aparezca un icono junto a la direccion url " "

Simple Living Simplified: 10 Things You Can Do Today to Simplify Your Life zen habits Great article about making your life more simple (duh!) Simplifying can sometimes be overwhelming. The amount of stuff you have in your life and the amount of things you have to do can be too big a mountain to tackle. But you don’t have to simplify it all at once. Do one thing at a time, and take small steps. You’ll get there, and have fun doing it. In fact, you can do little but important things today to start living the simple life.I was criticized a few weeks ago when I published the Simple Living Manifesto: 72 Ideas to Simplify Your Life , because many people felt the list was too long. I heard this point, and this post is my response: just the 10 most important things. And these are not 10 difficult things, but 10 simple things that you can do today. Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month. Today. Choose one and do it today. Tomorrow, choose another. If you do these 10 things, you’ll have mad...

Tu.tv - Videos - Pajaritos Buenisimo... es el del inicio de Monsters Inc.

YouTube - Colombia es pasion

Screen capture software: How to save non-recordable streaming video including web cams to hd : "Screen capture software" Greate page about capturing streaming video

Un borracho entra en un autobús y empieza a gritar: ¡Estos hijos de puta que van aquí atrás son unos maricones! ¡Los desgraciados que están a mi lado son unos cabrones! ¡Los pendejos que van adelante son todos unos comemierdas! Y el payaso que está allá adelante con un timón, es El mama huevo de todos!" A estas alturas, el chofer, indignado, frena Bruscamente y las personas se desequilibran. El chofer para el autobús, agarra al borracho por El cuello de la camisa y le pregunta, amenazador: "A ver hijo de puta, repite si te atreves, desgraciado... ¿quién es maricón, cabrón, comemierda o hijo de puta?" Y contesta el borracho tranquilamente: ¡Qué voy a saber.... con ese frenazo, los mezclaste a todos!!!

Este texto me llegó por email y lo publico porque pienso que hay que ayudarle a la memoria de nuestro amnésico pueblo Colombiano. Si alguien conoce el autor por favor comentelo para darle el credito porque lo estoy publicando sin permiso. --------------- EL OSCURO PASADO DE UN CALUMNIADOR Sólo hay un país donde un delincuente se puede convertir en el árbitro de la moral pública.Y eso sucede porque la prensa, que demuestra poco espíritu crítico, lo permite.Ese país es Colombia. En nuestro país un individuo que encabezó un grupo que se dedicó al asesinato, al secuestro, a la extorsión, y que hizo "trabajos" financiados por el narcotráfico se ha convertido para muchos ingenuos en el árbitro de la moral. Se trata del congresista Gustavo Petro, quien fue dirigente del M-19, un grupo terrorista sanguinario y atroz. En otro país estaría en la cárcel o, en el mejor de los casos, relegado al anonimato. A pesar de que el M-19 cometió algunos de los más espantosos delitos, todos sus crí...

Oracle SQL Server TransactSQL TSQL Transact : Great side by side comparison between Microsoft SQL Server transact SQL and Orcale PL/SQL i.e. CHARINDEX = INSTR

Joost™ Have a Joost Invitation you want to share ? I need one. I'll return it to you as soon as I get my invitations. Cannot leave an email address for spammers to see but please leave a comment and I'll get an email

Jonathan Hardwick : ccmexec.exe and inventory.exe - what are they and what do they do? : "ccmexec.exe and inventory.exe - what are they and what do they do?" Interesting article and interesting comments. I'll use "sc stop ccmexec" :-)

Move Google Desktop index to a different location > Exit Google Desktop and Open Registry editor. > Goto HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Google\Google Desktop > In the right-hand pane, "data_dir" contains the location of the Google Desktop index. > Open that folder in Windows Explorer and move the entire folder to the new location. > Change the "data_dir" value to reflect the new location of the Google Desktop index. > Exit the Registry editor and Restart Google Desktop search.

AutoIt Script AutoIt is a freeware Windows automation language. It can be used to script most simple Windows-based tasks (great for PC rollouts or home automation). AutoIt has been in popular use since 1999 and continues to provide users and administrators with an easy way to script the Windows GUI. In February 2004 the latest version of AutoIt - known as AutoIt v3 - was released and added powerful scripting features. I've made only a few small automatizations but I can tell you, it is very powerful

Einstein interactivo: Puedes hacer que Einstein escriba lo que tu quieras en su tablero. !!! Ensaya Click aqui . o aqui

Bits of wisdom SHIT HAPPENS! The more men I meet the more I like my dog There are three types of people those who can count and those who can't. Simons Law: Everything put together falls apart sooner or later. If barbie is so popular why do you have to buy her friends? Dont act hard just because your dick is. Life is like a dick when it gets hard fuck it! On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the escape key. What goes up must come down (duh) One tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla, floor. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some you are the statue. Im not lazy im just motivationally deficient. When god made man he was just practising when he made woman he perfected the art of human creation. Sex is evil, sex is sin, sins are forgiven so get stuck in. Everyone is someone elses wierdo. Booze isn't the answer. I cant remember the question. A man in tight trousers is pressing his luck. Sex isnt the answer, sex is the question the answer is yes. Make somethin...

Fixing the IE7 'Run Once' Problem : I installed IE7 and it always kept trying to open the Runonce page but everytime I got an error that prevented that page from loading. I tried setting up the home page several times but it didn't work. A quick google search got me to matt brindley's page and to the right solution. SOLUTION: Open GPO by typing gpedit.msc on the Start / Run Look for this folder: User Configuration/Administrative Templates/Windows Components/Internet Explorer/ There look for the value: Prevent performance of First Run Customize settings Double click it On the window that opens select the middle radio button "Enabled" and in the drop down below select "Go directly to home page" Click Ok, close GPO and the problem is gone.

I like this song --------------------------------------------- SALT OF THE EARTH - Rolling Stones (M. Jagger/K. Richards) Let's drink to the hard working people Let's drink to the lowly of birth Raise your glass to the good and the evil Let's drink to the salt of the earth Say a prayer for the common foot soldier Spare a thought for his back breaking work Say a prayer for his wife and his children Who burn the fires and who still till the earth And when I search a faceless crowd A swirling mass of gray and black and white They don't look real to me In fact, they look so strange Raise your glass to the hard working people Let's drink to the uncounted heads Let's think of the wavering millions Who need leaders but get gamblers instead Spare a thought for the stay-at-home voter His empty eyes gaze at strange beauty shows And a parade of the gray suited grafters A choice of cancer or polio And when I look in the faceless crowd A swirling mass of grays and black and ...

DNS in Windows XP Tip! : "DNS in Windows XP Published By Marc Liron - Microsoft MVP" I was having problems with some sites and this solved it. It's just a matter of clearing the dns cache. In a command line box (cmd) type ipconfig /flushdns If you also want to limit the size of false negative entries on the dns cache, click the link above and there is the regedit hack